I don't understand the dating world here in Chicago. Back in Charleston, things seemed to be easier for me to get asked out on a date, but for some reason up here I find that I am the one who has to ask. In no way am I trying to be conceded by saying that I should be getting asked out everywhere that I go, but I am definitely saying that it shouldn't come to the moment where I am asking out a guy, who is clearly interested in me. In Charleston all I had to do was look coyly and flash a smile here or there and I would catch a guy's eye and eventually he would come over or we would pass each other at some point in the night and he would stop me. Those tricks don't seem to be working for me up here. I've
had a few of my city friends here tell me that it is because there are too many women here for me to compete with and that seems like a reasonable excuse. But I don't even see the men here approaching any of the women here, its like they are scared of them or like we are back in 4th grade and us girls have cooties. Whatever happened to the days where men acted like men and women appreciated their machismo. Now, I'm not saying that I want a guy to knock me over the head, drag me into his cave, and have his way with me, but it would be nice if a guy would at least make some kind of effort. I feel as though I went from one extreme to another, at El Cid (many of my female classmates can agree) though the men acted like men to their girlfriends they treated their female classmates like men or even less. Therefore, I expected that after graduating from the Cid I will be able to experience the same gentlemanly qualities that I saw my male classmates use when they were courting their "Sallys". However, here in the city, away from my past militant life, I was hoping that at least one guy to see and treat me like a lady. I'm not knocking the fact that it may be because of the way that I carry myself that I may not experience those same treatments as my fellow women but, as I stated before, I'm not seeing men in Chicago treat women like ladies anywhere. I don't see doors being opened or held. I don't see men offering to carry heavy objects. I don't see men asking women for their name and occupation and striking up a conversation before they ask for their phone number. What I do see and experience, are guys grinding on me at a club without asking me to dance, guys telling me that I have nice legs before even looking at my face, guys asking me for my phone number from a moving vehicle, and--my absolute favorite--guys beating me to the door and watching it close in front of me without even making an attempt to hold it open. I have no intention of bashing all the men in the Chicago area for the careless acts of, well...most, because I am not. I know that not all men are like how I've described, but I want it to be known to those that are like this, that though us women are strong and independent, doesn't mean that we don't appreciate it when a door is opened and held, a heavy item is lifted, and a name asked before a number. So if you are like some of the men that I described just know that not all women react the same way to your game and if you are more of the gentleman type, I want to thank you and ask...will you please teach those who aren't? If only...